Bottles of Therapy
by chomnom
Summary: Dean/Cas, funny Sam, insecurities, whiskey, therapy per say, and of course sex. Now with Impala sex and my usual sillinessssssssss.
1. Chapter 1

**Reader trying to comprehend:** So Cas is quiet? Is that all?

**Me**: wait for it… also this:

media/products/2011/01/17/12228_

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"you see Cas, I just feeeel… damn it"

"I like it when you….."

"I feel like blank when you… stupid feelings"

Dean had a problem, aside from all the other problems he has like: his drinking (which he has cut back on), his constant cussing (which he thinks he uses when the situation arises), his lack of emotional expression (Which he thinks fuck you why should I), and his one gray hair that Sam pointed out and Cas says makes him look more distinguished just to make him feel better (which he pulled out).

But this problem involves feelings, and expressing them to Cas. And just thinking about it is so fucking exhausting to Dean right now. He could use a drink.

**Self Therapy notes:**

**Psychodrama of the moment:**

It all started when Sam gave me this stupid "self-therapy notepad" he "felt I needed to help express my feelings, and remember things because of my old age." Then he snickered and in a really badass way I hurled a pillow into his big stupid giagaintor head.

But my problem is not Sam. It is Cas, and it began when we started to have sex.

**What is your Real problem?**

Jesus, I know what I am supposed to say. The problem is me. Are you happy

**How do you feel about it?**

This is bullshit, but I have run out of options. Ok, me and Cas…Cas and I? whatever. I feel like I love Cas, and that kinda freaks me out. I feel like I want him to say stuff…I want him to make noise when we have sex! There I said it! I want to hear what he wants and some dirty talk and that I am doing a good job, and that he loves me. God this has gotten girly sounds like I just need approval.

I don't know how I feel about that. Confused I guess.

**How do you really feel?**

Scared

What am I scared of? I don't know…think about it.

I have always been able to please people I have sex with. I have always been good at sex, and they usually all make some noise or show that they want to.

Cas does a lot for me. Cas, I think Cas loves me. I'm scared he really doesn't, I'm scared that just like the long list of things that Cas just does because I ask, this is one of those things. I'm scared that Cas doesn't really love me, he just pretends to because he feels he should, or that he owes me, or something. Because deep down I know I don't deserve Cas. Amazing, beautiful, forgiving Cas.

And that sex for him is just like a chore or work. I want to give him things he enjoys, he deserves that.

I'm scared I am not enough, and I never will be.

**This problem likely stems from:**

Mother, father, me, sex, basic unlovability,

Original sin?

Early weaning? what even is that?!

Other: Cas was a super angel of the lord who rescued me from hell, only to sacrifice everything for me and human kind, and then the world and then lost his way, and then got sucked into purgatory, and then fell from heaven. I'm just some guy who drinks and cusses too much, and has emotional problems.

**What it all means:**

The fuck should I know?!

I guess I should talk to Cas, but I'm going to get drunk to do it!

**Breakthrough:**

Actual therapy required- Fuck that

Medication needed- hunters helper/jack daniels

"**OUR TIME IS UP FOR TODAY"**

Dean put his "therapy notes" face down on the table, and picked up a bottle of Jack. He poured himself a glass. As he was pouring none other than the man of the hour walks in, Castiel.

He is wearing a blue v-neck shirt, and some loose jeans. Dean stars, he looks good. Dean wouldn't say he was ogling Cas, but damn. Cas looks at Dean curiously for a moment, and he realizes he has overflowed his glass.

"Shit!"

Cas comes over grabbing a paper towel and blotting the mess.

Dean scurries to pick up his self therapy. When Cas looks up he throws it behind him towards the floor, and it skids under the counter by the bathroom. Cas looks to the left over Dean's shoulder; a silent question. He then looks to Dean.

Dean works hard to completely bypass an answer for Cas, shrugges and give a smug nod a bit. Cas being the silly wonderful thing he is goes with the quiet contract to just not talk about it.

"I was just going to rest today, have a little party. You want to drink with me."

And so it was 5pm, and Dean and Cas commit to drink the night away. Sam committed to get another room when they started having sex. He also committed to wear earplugges, clearly he was unaware of Dean's problem.

So Dean had just had an emotional experience with the therapy thing, now Cas was right there, looking good, drinking with Dean. They are laughing remembering the time Dean took him to a brothel.

Cas's eyes soften and harden. It's that look he gives Dean when he knows they are on their way to sex.

Cas is no longer an angel of the lord, with an alcohol tolerance the size of the Chrysler Building. He was a man who just drank three shots of whiskey.

Dean liked Cas when he was drunk, he smiled more, and Dean loved to see him smile.

"I love to see you smile. Did I say that out loud?" Oh shit Dean is that kind of drunk that kills his inner monologue.

Cas just smiles more.

Dean moves to Cas and kisses him, soft at first then harder. Their tongues start to swirl together. Cas has learned to be a good kisser.

The first time they kissed, Cas accidently smashed into his forehead.

This was way better.

As they kiss Cas crawls into Dean's lap and straddles his hips. Dean puts his hands on Cas's back and pulls him close has their tongues class.

If Dean's mouth was not busy, he would not be able to scold himself for not talking about the problem.

But in his head he is thinking: 'I should stop, and talk to Cas we can't have sex again, and me not know what is going on. God he tastes good, I need to know, I need to …'

All thoughts stopped when Cas moved his hands under Dean's shirt.

And suddenly there was a knock on the door. Dean shoots up knocking Cas off his lap and onto the floor.

"Thank god" Dean says.

Cas had no choice in his drunk state to star at Dean hurt. "What?"

Dean tries not to look at Cas and walks to the door. Sam is there with some pizza. "Dinner."

Dean smiles and is about to decline becaseu he had business to attend to when he hears Cas, "Dean, your therapy is very interesting."

Sam gains a huge smile, surely about to brag, Dean slams the door in his face. He turns around mortified, back against the door as if he has been cornered. He can hear Sam smiling and strutting to his door. Well he can't hear him doing this but he knows it is happening like a feeling in his lower vertebra.

He watches as Cas's eyes scan his soul searching idiotic ramblings. He has no idea what Cas is thinking.

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I was writing this and thought wow Cas has no lines so the next chapter with sex will be full of Cas POV.

Let me know what you think, reviews and such


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks for the follows and such. I put sex here and more Cas stuff. Drunk Cas is fun to write

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Cas's eyes scan Dean's soul searching idiotic ramblings.

He can't believe Dean is such an idiot, and kind and sweet, and loving, and really really stupid.

Cas looks at Dean across the small motel room, it feels like he is a thousand feet away and Cas just needs to be all over him now. Or 5 min ago when Dean threw him on the floor and praised whatever entity left in heaven that is against Cas having a boner resolved for interrupting.

Cas is still feeling a bit pissy about that. He strides over to Dean, and Dean looks down like he feels he might have to move out of the way so Cas can leave him. That just breaks his heart.

"We need to talk." Cas says this then grabs Dean by the neck, not hard, but just enough to get his attention. Then he kisses him hard, and moves his hand to hold Dean's jaw in place.

"Let's address these issues as they arise." Cas is using his "nono-I'm-not-drunk-serious-voice" but his eyes are having a hard time focusing.

"First youshould, aaahaamm (Cas clears his throat as he just blurred some words together). You Should thank Sam for this." He holds up the "therapy notebook" and waves it a bit. The air from the movement blows a bit of Dean's hair. Cas moves it again and is momentarily dumbstruck by how good Dean looks when being blown by wind. Then he thinks 'yeah blown… blow Dean…blowing Dean'

Cas freezes lost in thought about the first time he gave Dean a blowjob.

_Dean's hands in Cas's hair holding him against his hard cock. Cas can still feel the way dean bends and moans and gives himself the Cas. Dean made all these pretty noises, and when Cas looks up he can see Dean's hair being blown by the wind from the windows that are rolled down in the Impala. _

'NOISE' Cas thinks.

"Cas Um…" Dean was just about to ask what is up when Cas's face turns dark. "oh I don't make enough noise huh?!"

Cas backs up and puts up three fingers, the stops and looks at his hand, and then puts one finger down. "second, I don't make noise because the first time we had sex…Dean…Dean do you remember the first time we had sex?" Cas has some of that laughter in his eyes again.

Dean smiles, "Yeah Cas, it was in Mexico Beach Florida and it was reallyhot, not just you, but weather and"

"no not that time."

"What? That was the first ti" Cas cuts him off.

"no, look, it was, it was a time when we, we were at a hotel….

_Flashback_

_Cas and Dean are making out on the couch, breathing heavy and pulling cloths off. Sam just left to get some dinner and would be right back. This was the day Sam started getting a new room. _

_Dean said, "I got an idea." Cas followed as Dean lead him into the shower. They turn on the water and take off each other's clothes. They are kissing and touching and the water is so warm and it feels so good on Cas's aching shoulders._

_Riding in the car sucks, Cas has not perfected a good sitting position that makes his back not ach a bit. _

_There are suddenly soap suds and Dean is smirking when his hand reaches for Cas's cock. They slot their cocks together and Dean's hands wrap around them both, pulling and jerking in tandem. Cas groans and in that moment Dean hears the keys jingling loudly, Sam must have gotten a lot of food because he bangs into the room. Thank God Dean heard him. _

_Dean reaches up to Cas mouth and places one finger on his lips, "sshhhhhh" Dean kisses him and they move in and out of Deans strong hand. Cas comes first and Dean soon after. Quietly and kissing, laughing a bit at what they got away with, until they have to come out that is…_

_End flashback_

"Really Cas, you haven't made noise because I shhhhh-ed you once? That was just because Sam was in the other room."

"When is Sam not in the other room?"

Dean stares a bit perplexed, Cas feels accomplished in his ability to stump Dean even when he is not-quite-smashed, but nice and tipsy. No really he is not smashed he just feels like he could float a bit, and sometimes has problems thinking. Its fine you don't know.

"And all the other things, the things, you, you Dean Winchester are stupid."

"This is not making me feel better Cas."

"I love you! I love you! I want to have sex with you! I take things overly literal! I love to have sex with you!" Cas has a focused look on his face, he has scrunched up his eyebrows to make a little worry line in the middle. Like he cannot understand how Dean could ever feel this way or question Cas's love.

"you youare are, you are mine and stupid. I do things because I want to, I want to love you andmake you feel good… this was third." He holds up three fingers.

Dean has to laugh, but Cas is not done.

"you drink a lot, and have emotional issues, you cuss and I like learning your colloquialisms. I approve of you I want you to feel that."

Dean is feeling a bit weird about this part, and doesn't know what colloquialisms mean, but it makes Cas smile again so that means Dean likes it.

"I love you, the way you are, and that is a bit fucked up, but so am I." Cas points to his chest, and wobbles a bit, he then grabs Deans shoulder.

"The sixth thing… I don't ever want you to think you don't deserve something, because you do deserve happiness, and I want that for you. I want to be a part of it, and I want to be happy to and you do that…you do that for me."

Dean is unsure where Cas got his counting from but he has never felt so relieved before.

"The fifth thing…" Dean rolls his eyes, Cas really can't count right now. "you want dirty talk… I don't know what that is… how do I do that?"

Dean smiles and just hugs Cas, wraps his arms around his waist and buries his head on his chest. Cas is a bit off balance and then hugs him back. "I love you Cas."

Cas moves Dean's head up and kisses Dean soft and sweet. Dean looks at Cas with soft eyes. Cas smiles lovingly and stokes his face. "Dean" "yes Cas"

"What the fuck is dirty talk? Do I need to say filthy words?"

"Something like that" Dean smiles and looks at Cas "I want to know what you want, what you are thinking, it doesn't have to be that dirty if you don't want to, I kinda like when you say fuck, but it doesn't have to. I can start if you want?"

Cas smiles, and kisses Dean hard this time. "Dean, I want you to fuck me."

"I can do that." Dean kisses Cas and they stumble backward to the bed, Cas moans. Dean looks at Cas as he tumbles on the bed, Dean stands, "I like that noise baby."

Dean takes his shirt off and pulls of Cas. Cas to his credit just did a speech to make Dean all better, and really just flops wherever Dean pulls and guides him. When the shirt some off he just falls back to the bed with a satisfied look on his face.

Dean pulls Cas's pants off, and grabs his cock with one hand, Cas moans. "you like that baby, what do you want me to do?"

"oh suck my cock."

Dean happily obliges. Dean does little kitten licks to Cas's hard cock. Then sucks on the head making little slurp sounds as he does.

"Don't …don't"

Dean stops "don't what"

"don't be a cock tease."

"where did you learn that word?"

"Pizza man."

Dean leans over to the night stand and gets out some lube. He puts some on his finger, while Cas lays on the bed and moans his name. God Dean is so glad for Sam's smartass gift.

Dean goes back to work. He gets down on his knees on the carpet and puts Cas's legs over his shoulders. He starts sucking in earnest. Cas is moaning and grabbing the sheets above his head. Dean moves his finger to Cas's hole and starts to circle. Cas moans louder.

"yes Dean Please."

Dean moves in one finger. He takes a break from Cas's cock "you like that baby, tell me what you like, tell me you want me what you want"

"oooohhhh"

"do you want my fingers in you, do you want me to fuck you with my fingers."

"YES, fuck me, stick your fingers in me"

Dean moves another finger inside Cas and starts to scissor him open. He works him in and out, takes his cock in his mouth and sucks hard.

Cas is losing control groaning and writhing. He moans Dean's name when Dean crooks his fingers just right against his sweet spot.

Cas is just now realizing how much better sex is when he doesn't have to hold back. It was good before, but he feels so free.

Just then Dean adds another finger. "ooooohhhhh" Cas is breathing heavy and sweating. "Oh fuck me Dean, Fuck me."

Dean moves off of Cas's cock and pulls his fingers out, "oh baby I love the noises you make."

Dean keeps Cas'a knees on his shoulders and gets off the floor. His rug burned knees touch the bed and he shoves into Cas's open waiting hole.

They set a punishing pace, Cas moaning Dean's name and Dean groaning with every thrust.

The cheap motel mattress starts to creak and bend. All the room is filled with sounds of their skin slapping and their heavy breathing.

"harder"

Dean goes harder

"faster"

Dean goes faster

"more"

Dean is pounding into Cas. Their sex is usually not rough or hard, it is not gentle either, but this is another level of hard.

Dean looks at his hands on Cas's hips and realizes his fingers will leave bruises, and Cas will wear them with pride. "More!"

"oh Dean fuck me, oh just like that."

Dean is close, he moves his hand over to Cas's cock and starts to stroke. Cas moans louder, and it get more gravelly as he grips the sheets behind him in white knuckle fists. As Cas is about to come he suddenly gets quiet again.

Dean looks at Cas and he has his eyes closed tight, mouth open in a silent scream. And Cas comes between them, his legs go clack on dean shoulders, and Dean comes deep in Cas. As he does Cas's moans again.

As they come down from their high, almost floating in feelings, blood rushing through their bodies, and last reminets of come leak out of their spent cocks, they hear a loud BANG BANG BANG

"Really guys, I can hear you through my ear plugs!"


	3. Chapter 3

Sam is getting headphones. Not just any headphones, overtly large ones with super bass; and loud songs on his ipod.

Stupid brother, stupid Cas…

Sam is tired, he has no idea what is going on, but they are super loud lately. Last night he heard Dean yell, "Oh Christ Cas, Fuck me just like that!"

Yes ok yes. He knows they are having sex. But did he have to know who is on top! NO NO he did not. It is not fair and it is not right!

Oh Sam feels himself gag just thinking about it. Sam cannot handle another night like that; he is exhausted.

Sam yawns, and pays $75 for headphones! He would feel bad about it if it was not a necessity at this point.

Sam leaves the store and walks to the backseat of the impala. Cas is sitting shotgun because Sam wants a nap and he doesn't want to look Dean in the eyes yet.

"Get everything you need Samantha?"

Sam is in no mood to play, just grumbles his way into the car. As Sam sits and stares out the front window he sees Cas look pointedly at Dean. As if he wants him to do something. Oh God now what? Sam feels he really can't handle anymore. For the first time ever Sam does not want to talk about it. Just a nap, an uninterrupted-by-sex nap.

Dean turns to Sam, makes awkward eye contact, and a really awkward smile. "So Sam…thanks for the therapy notepad things…bitch."

Cas rolls his eyes, and adds his own sarcasm; Cas is catching on to sarcasm, "Well done."

Dean shrugs and makes a silent What? Face

Sam puts on his head phones, plays the Green Hornet theme song on repeat, and decides to sleep to the sounds of kickass action.

As he dozes off he sees Cas scoot a bit closer to Dean

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"Dean we can't."

"Sure we can baby, you just have to be quiet… not all the time… He will never know."

Cas looks unconvinced.

Regardless he starts sucking on Deans neck. Kissing and licking, he adds a little bit and Dean moans.

"you can't do that. Sam is right there!"

"he has headphones."

"I think this counts as your ONE."

Let's explain: A ONE is the thing that Dean gets to ask for from Cas in exchange for a ONE that Cas picks for Dean. It is a simple rule, but one they made because things got a little out of hand between hunts and kinky play. So they made the rule that they only get a ONE once a month.

"oh come ooooonnnn."

"it's a ONE or not at all."

"does this really count as kinky."

"yes, your brother is right there"

"but not really, he is like totally out."

Cas is quiet, he has a face that means, this is my line, no one will cross it. It is the same face he gives vampires, demons, shifter, and monsters alike when he is about to hurl out a can of previous angle whoop ass. Except it comes with a small smirk just for Dean.

"Fine… it is your ONE.'' Dean says exasperated, because really he would rather get a blowjob in the impala and now that the idea is in his head, he really can't live without getting it.

That's how Dean operates, he has thought of it and now he needs it.

Cas begins nibbling Dean's neck again. His hand reaches down to his pants and starts to undo his pants.

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oh cliffhanger, sorry. should have the rest up tomorrow! just really into school busy stuff and I wanted to get something up as I feel it has been neglected.


	4. Chapter 4

Ok Dean keep it together.

Cas has given you a blowjob in the impala before.

Just not when it is moving, through a busy town…at night…with his brother in the back.

Am I kinda fucked up to be so turned on by it? Shit should I really be thinking right now?

"Oh Cas"

Cas immediately disconnects with a wet pop. "Sssshhhhhhh, we could get caught."

AND THERE IT IS. The thrill of getting caught, if not by all the passersby then by his gigantic brother in the back. Poor Sam. Psshhhh! Forget Sam this is awesome!

AND CAS IS BACK. He is sucking in earnest now. He is using his tongue around the tip, and tweaking nipples.

Oh God Cas got really good at blowjobs. Now he is taking my cock all the way down his throat, and I want to tell him I love him, Want to stop the car a face fuck him.

Cars pass on either side, blurs of eyes and color. They are each a small reminder that at any moment this could end. They could watch, be disgusted, be turned on. Watching this perfect mouth move up and down on my cock. Looking up at him through his eyelashes, small slurping sounds, Cas looks like he is loving it. Bet if someone would catch them Cas wouldn't stop just keep sucking and licking to his heart's content.

I press my hands around the steering wheel and hang on for dear life, because it would be a shame to not only die with an angel on his dick, but also kill his brother in the making. Cause of Death would read "Death by blowjob."

Oh ….. no more thoughts for Dean that was a solid lick up the underside of his cock and the only thing Dean is running on is adrenalin and a intense feelings of needing to protect Baby.

If blowjob driving was a sport he and Cas could win.

Dean is making tiny whimpering like noises, but they are totally manly too.

Cas starts sucking him down again, humming. And oh shit that is about all he can take.

Dean's eyes roll back into his head and he is coming

* * *

Sam is shrouded in darkness, drop kicking asshole villains, trumpets blare as he leaps from the second story of some sleazy hotel to land a kick into the back of Crowley's head.

Fuck yeah I'm the best. Sam is kicking ass with an all black suit and mask. Sam is super cool, no one can beat him. Dean and Cas are tied to a tree with rope. Sam runs to free them when all of a sudden out pops a clown. Oh shit

But no! Sam is not afraid of this clown, he is too awesome for this clown, and as the song crescendos. Sam screams and raises his kick for the finishing blow WWWWWAAAAAAAAA (Bruce Lee scream)

SSSSSCCCRREEEECCCCCHHHH

Sam is very awake!

"What happened?"

Cas looks back with a serine look on his face, "Dean thought he saw a cat, swerved out of the way."

Dean looks back and smirks as if to communicate "what can I say?"

Sam blinks a few times and feels much better. He has finally got some sleep without any sex noises. Sam feels pretty satisfied. He stretches and smiles feeling confident in his life and his purchase.

"Hey you guys want to stop for lunch." Sam says

"Sure" says Cas and gives Dean an evil look.

Because from the back seat Sam can't see Dean's unbuttoned pants and spent cock. Which Cas did not have the time to zip up. Also which cas seems content in leaving exactly as is.

When they find a dinner. Cas suggests that Dean drop them off at the front so he can find a good parking space and they can get a table. And most notably so Dean can clean himself off.

Dean smiles sweetly at his malicious lover. Well at least if Cas is going to a Jackass, he is a considerate jackass. Plus he swallows.

* * *

This sex scene was kind of weird for me to write, not sure if it is what I wanted, but it is what I got. Stay tuned for Cas's ONE :)

Also reviews and such. Much love


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